What does "I'm sorry" mean to you? You probably really want to hear these words from your spouse. It is very possible that you will feel stuck in the emotional pain and turmoil that followed your discovery of your spouse's affair. Maybe it will bring some relief if your spouse apologized in the sense that it will be a sign that he or she understand the pain that they caused or it will show you that your spouse understands the mistake they by cheating .
Understand that there exists a deeper need in you that you are trying to fulfill, irrespective of how you interpret the apology. This is usually a means to move past the hurt and towards healing. It is certainly understandable that you will find it difficult to forgive your spouse even after an apology, but do you really want to wait for your spouse to say those magic words before you seek relief?
Your spouse certainly owes you as much, but what they are supposed to do and what they will do are two separate things. You don't want to get stuck in neutral, therefore you have to manage the situation, you are the only one that can control your reaction to your spouse's ability to apologize or not. You need to decide what the term forgiveness means to you before you try to forgive your spouse in order to save your marriage.
First step: Think about forgiveness and define it in your own terms.
You need to figure out what it means to you personally and you should try to understand what the implication will be if your spouse did apologize.
Second step: Your spouse asked for forgiveness - now what? Would it be easier to forgive your spouse?
How will this act change you if your spouse came to you this very moment and asked for forgiveness? Would you be able to move past the pain and what would it mean for your marriage. Try to imagine how you will feel when you hear those words - how will it change you if your spouse were to say: I am sorry, please forgive me?
Third step: What if your spouse did not ask for forgiveness?
And what if your spouse never asks for forgiveness? Would you be able to move pass the pain and what would it mean for your marriage? The biggest question still is this: will it rob you of the power over your own feelings?
If you can answer all these questions and figure out how you will be affected, you are one step closer to forgive your spouse and to save your marriage. No one can argue the difficulty of an affair and the emotions that it causes, but ultimately the ball is in your hands.
Author Resource:-
You don't have to be alone in this, if you want to forgive your spouse, but you find it difficult, you are welcome to visit www.healyourmarriage.info for expert advice on how to save your marriage.
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